Motherhood: Too Much and Not Enough

How is it possible for motherhood to feel like it’s not enough and too much at the same time? 

When people ask me what I do for a living, I hesitate. I have to stop myself from saying, “I just stay home with the kids.” There’s nothing “just” about it. It’s legitimate work. I know that because I live it, and I still have to remind myself not to downplay it.

Women often talk about losing their identity once they become a mom. Society makes us feel like we’ve lost our personhood if we choose to focus our lives on our family instead of a career. That societal pressure breeds insecurity, and it pushes me to prove that I’m still a person, and not “just a mom.” MLM’s capitalize on this pressure on moms from society by encouraging stay at home moms to be “girl bosses.” The side hustle is glorified and moms feel like they have to turn their hobbies into income. Prioritizing my children over a career makes me feel like I’m not doing enough with my life. That’s ironic because I feel like I’m constantly “doing” in order to take care of my kids and my house.

I sometimes feel guilty for not bringing in money, but I feel overwhelmed by the constancy of my job as a wife and mother. I’m working hard, but it seems less valuable because I don’t get an income from it. It seems like our house always needs more groceries and cleaning supplies. My kids need new clothes every season. I seem to always be shopping for necessities, and I feel guilty for spending the money.

My feelings of overwhelm often stem from internal pressures that I’ve put on myself. I want to have activities planned for my kids every day. I have a hard time just letting them be bored (because then the whining ensues.) I want to limit screen time and make sure they spend enough time outside. Other things on my to-do list include reading Bible stories and to them and keeping the house clean throughout the day. I want to be productive and check things off my to-do list so that I feel like I’m doing enough. Then I have things I can point to and say “look what I got done today.”

My biggest mental drain is my compulsion to always be aware of potential dangers. Like a radar, my brain is always “on” so that I can protect my kids. You’re probably picturing a cave woman protecting her children from wild animals and wondering why a modern mom like me needs to be so diligent. In truth, I don’t need to be so diligent. In fact, I can’t be. I need to trust God to protect my kids because I can’t protect them from everything. I’m not enough to keep my kids safe on my own, and I’m not designed to be. Pressuring myself to think of every possible danger to my kids and protect them from it is so overwhelming.

In the midst of all my overwhelm, I often get discouraged. It’s easy to feel hopeless when you’re relying on yourself. Especially when you already have your children relying on you. I don’t have the strength to be everything for my children. I can’t be enough for them. It seems so obvious when I type it out, but I often operate from the mindset that I can be enough for them. Or that I have to be enough for them. Otherwise, I have to let go of some control, and that can be terrifying.

God gave me these precious kids to nurture. Motherhood comes with so many overwhelming tasks that can bog you down. It’s busy and I quickly get caught up in daily life. When I’m not focusing on my to-do list, my mind wanders to big, ambiguous worries that I have no control over. Both daily and future concerns can be so draining when I’m not relying on God to give me strength. If I’m not trusting Him to take care of me and my children, I am overwhelmed by it all.

My job as a mother is valuable. It’s a role that God gave me, and it has an impact on His kingdom as I raise my kids to know Him. However, it’s not enough to fulfill me, because only Jesus can do that.

Being a mother can feel like too much to handle at times. That’s when I know that I haven’t been looking to Jesus to take care of me and my children. I’m still learning how to let go of control, but I’m grateful for the hope I have because of Jesus.

5 Reasons Everyone Should Play the Ukulele

Doesn’t the sound of a ukulele make you happy? It’s my favorite instrument. Here are 5 reasons that everyone should play it:

1. It is uplifting. 

Everyone needs a good cheering up once in a while, and who is better for the job than a ukulele? Its light, chipper sound is sure to make you happy, especially since ukulele songs tend to be whimsical.

2. It’s adorable.

Seriously, the ukulele is the kitten of the instrument world. It’s little and makes you look cute when you play it. You know that fashion rule about smaller patterns making you look thinner? Same thing applies for smaller instruments.

3. It’s quick to learn.

Since there are less strings on a uke along with a smaller fret board, it is quicker to learn than the guitar. Additionally, there are a few major chords that are used in many popular uke songs, so you can play quite a bit of songs right off the bat.

4. It’s cheap.

You can find a ukulele on Amazon for as cheap as $30. That’s like the price of Swiffer mop. Which would you rather have, a fun ukulele or shiny floors? (Obviously, the ukulele).

5. It goes well with other fun instruments.

Have you heard someone play a kazoo while playing a ukulele? Those instruments were made for each other. Throw in a triangle and a tambourine and you and your friends have an impromptu folk band.

Seriously, go buy one. Blessings,

Olivia

Inexpensive Ways to Cheer Up Your Day

Some days, you just need a pick-me-up. Maybe you woke up late, hit traffic, or found out some bad news–or maybe it’s just a plain old Monday. Here are some cheap ways to make yourself feel better:

-fancy coffee
-buy cake mix or make one from scratch
-hit the Target dollar section
-dress up
-try a new beauty look
-send a funny meme to a friend
-look up a funny clip from your favorite TV show
-eat something healthy
-exercise
-dance
-try something new
-plan something to look forward to
-find new music
-take a walk
-do something nice for someone else
-order freebies online (heyitsfree.net)
-use your giftcards

I hope these help. Remember that the best way to feel peace is to pray! 🙂

Blessings,

Olivia

 

Christian Fiction Review: An Elegant Facade by Kristi Ann Hunter

I was captivated by this story. It was engaging right from the start, and I couldn’t put the book down. I loved the 1800s London setting. Kristi does a great job of including setting details throughout the story. The way she writes about this setting makes the time period easier to understand and feel connected to. The book has a romantic, cozy atmosphere. The love story unfolds beautifully, and includes some exciting action and suspense as well. The characters are written honestly and realistically, and they are easy to relate to. I felt close to Georgina as I read her story, and I couldn’t wait for her to find true love. The title fits the story perfectly, since Georgina struggles with the front she puts up before others. She grows throughout the story, and it’s rewarding to see her mature toward the end of the book. The way that the author includes spirituality feels natural and honest without being cheesy or forced. Immediately after reading this book, I read the other two stories in the Hawthorne House series. I’m eagerly awaiting the next book, which comes out next February. I highly recommend this book.

Are there any books you’d recommend that I read next?

Blessings,

Olivia

Light Links #8

Hey y’all! These links are lit like summer fireworks:

• Here are 5 Ways to Memorize Scripture.
• Love this: 8 Ways to Fight Discouragement.
• 25 Ways to Stay Cool This Summer. My tip: eat watermelon!
• These are awesome! 5 Christian Music Playlists for every mood.
• Happy 4th of July! Here are some patriotic food ideas.

Blessings,

Olivia

The Time We Found Out My Brother Was In A Car Accident

This post was written by my mom a couple of years ago (and originally posted on my old blog, which is still around: thepaintedukulele.blogspot.com). It’s about faith and Isaiah 41:13.

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A number of years ago, when our family was going through a particularly rough time, Olivia would encourage and comfort me with verses. She would email verses to me. She would write verses on cards. She would paint canvases with beautiful, comforting scripture. One treasure she gave me was a square of baked salt dough and on it she painted “For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’ Isaiah 41:13”

That gift has lifted my spirits many times over the years. The beautiful, warped and cracked salt dough. The precious, uneven edges. Isn’t that like us, followers of Christ? His word, his unfathomable spirit, in our broken vessels. A thing – no, a person, of inestimable worth in this jar of clay. When I look at this square made from material that probably only cost 10 cents, I see a treasure of immeasurable worth. The word of God. That is what our heavenly father sees when he looks at us. We may be broken vessels, but he sees the magnificent glory of his son. Praise God!

 

One of my 17 year-old sons was on my mind all day yesterday. He had gone on a short road trip with a friend, and I couldn’t shake my concern. I prayed throughout the entire day. I had to discipline myself to turn my chanting prayers of, “Lord, please protect him. Lord, please protect him,” into “Lord, thank you for protecting him.” Then last night, as Olivia and I walked down the dark driveway to leave Bible study, her cell phone rang. My phone was off, so when she said, “It’s dad,” my heart dropped to the cold, hard concrete. I could hear the serious tone in his voice when he said to her, “Let me talk to your mom.” Fearing the worst, I started shaking even before I said “hello.” My son had gotten into a car accident.

 

Praise God, my son was not hurt. Praise God. It could have been so much worse. I am weak with gratitude to my Lord. Thank you, Lord. Thank you. He heard my prayers. He watched over my son.

 

When I decided to have children twenty years ago, I didn’t realize I would be giving birth to my own heart; that for the rest of my life, my heart would be walking around in these three precious lives in a scary, unpredictable world. I am continually teetering between my faith and trust in the Lord with my desire to protect my children from harm and the uncertainty of life.

 

This morning, with reawakened gratitude to the Lord for his love and protection, I once again walked by that salt dough plaque and read, “ For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’”

 

My thankful heart overflows.

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Blessings,

Olivia

5 Christian Instagram Accounts to Start Following

I love that technology gives us new ways to read the Word and have fellowship with other believers. Since creating an Instagram account for this blog (which you can find here), I’ve found a lot of great Christian accounts to follow. Today, I’m sharing a few of those with you.

gracious.script

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I love the devotionals that go along with Jessica’s pictures on this account. They’re so relatable. Plus, the fonts used are super cute.

teen.christian.girls

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGzEX5Cucfx/?taken-by=teen.christian.girls

This account has so many pretty pictures with good reminders, such as to be a light to others. Though the name includes “teen”, I think it is valuable for any lady to follow!

lead.by.love

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A post shared by @lead.by.love

I love the gorgeous nature pictures on this page, along with the verses. Perfect for the Christian girl with wanderlust!

daughterofdelight

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A post shared by Daughter of Delight (@daughterofdelight)

This page looks so modern, and I love that their mission is to empower women through their God-given purpose. It’s definitely worth checking out.

sheknowsherworth

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A post shared by Worthy Devotionals (@worthydevotionals)

This page is unique in that the posts are declarations about who we are in Christ. It’s all about knowing our worth is found in Jesus. These posts are reminders of how to live that truth out. Love it!

I hope you’ll find encouragement through these awesome Instagram accounts! Christian fellowship can be found even in an app. Blessings,

Olivia

Light Links #7

Hey y’all! It’s already time for another round of light links. Here they are:

• A prayer to calm fear.
• 50 important verses to memorize.
• Practicing hospitality on a dime.
• BBQ chicken skewers: the perfect summer dinner.
• A fun stargazing date night.

Blessings,

Olivia

13 Ways to Be Productive on Pinterest

Pinterest is my favorite website. It’s so fun to look at all of the amazing ideas. Pinterest is a great way to relax and spend some down time, but there are also productive advantages to the website. Here are some ways to be productive on Pinterest:

•  Use it for meal planning: Not only are there articles on how to meal plan on Pinterest, there are so many unique and easy recipes. Most of my dinner recipes are from Pinterest. I love the pins that group a bunch of similar recipes together, like groups of slow cooker recipes or recipes using chicken. It saves me time since I’m not trying to come up with dinner recipes off the top of my head. I also don’t get stuck in a food rut since I’m finding new recipes all the time. You can also find a lot of decadent dessert ideas, yummy drinks, breakfast ideas – really any type of recipe. This is a great resource to use when planning food for a party.
• Plan a Party: I’ve seen a lot of ideas for “Frozen” parties based on the movie. Search for any theme party and you’ll probably find a lot of fun (and probably DIY) ideas. You might even be able to find printables to make it even easier.
• Save Money with DIY ideas: There’s no end to the DIY ideas on Pinterest. They range from cute jewelry DIYs to pallet furniture for your home. You can save a lot of money by finding DIY tutorials instead of buying things. I love the pins with DIY versions of Anthropologie or Pottery Barn items. DIYs are a fun way to personalize your home. You’ll also become more crafty and resourceful. On a related note, you can use Pinterest to get your finances in order. There are a lot of resources to help you make a budget, get out of debt, and start saving.
• Use it to Promote Your Own Blog or Etsy store: Pinterest is a great way to get new followers for your blog. By posting pins of your new articles, people who follow you on Pinterest will see them. If your followers pin your article, their followers will see it as well and the process continues. People are also more likely to continue reading your blog if your articles are showing up on the Pinterest home page. You can also use Pinterest to promote your Etsy store by pinning your items.
• Network through Pinterest: Follow other blogs with similar topics and connect with other businesses. Doing this can garner lots of new followers for you and help you become more known. You can also use it for your career. I see a lot of pins related to nursing and teaching. I’ve also searched for pins related to my field and found some good articles to read. It’s worth a try!
• Follow Your Favorite Blogs: Similarly, following your favorite blogs on Pinterest keeps you easily updated on their new posts and gives you a way to save your favorite articles from their blog.
• Get Decorating Tips: Pinterest is known for it’s decorating and organization tips. There are tips for painting your house, ways to arrange wall art, and DIY decoration ideas. There are so many pictures of furniture and houses to give you inspiration. There are also a lot of helpful tips for maximizing small spaces and decorating dorm rooms. Who needs an interior decorator when you can just look at Pinterest? While you’re at it, organize the rest of your life. Once you’re done decorating, you can organize your desk, your hall closet, or your kitchen pantry. There are a lot of ingenious ways to organize lots of areas of your life to mark everything run smoother.
• Get Perspective with Inspiring Quotes: Sometimes you just need a paradigm change. Looking at quotes on Pinterest is a great way to alter your perspective and give you motivation.
• Plan Your Wedding: Pinterest gave me a lot of wonderful wedding ideas. I found love quotes to use for decorations, bouquet ideas, and dress inspiration. There are a lot of fun guestbook alternatives on Pinterest and planning tips as well. Pinterest is especially perfect for planning a rustic or vintage themed wedding.
• Life Hacks: Life hacks are awesome. They make life easier and a lot of simple ways that make a big difference. Just do a search for them on Pinterest, and you’ll find a bunch.
• Make your Bucket List: Making your bucket list is a lot like daydreaming, but the point is to make a list of things your really want to do, and then actually go out and do them! Search “bucket list” on Pinterest and you’ll find a lot of cool ideas to add to your bucket list, like “swim with dolphins” or “learn to surf.
• Work Out: Working out from home is a wonderful way to get fit without having to push yourself to go to the gym. You can find workout videos and charts with workout moves and reps. There’s a variety of exercises you can find on Pinterest, so you can find something that works for you. With all of the dessert recipes I pin, I am grateful for workout pins! 🙂
• Design Your Dream Home: For a lot of us, designing a house is definitely daydreaming, but it is a reality for some. And who’s to say that we won’t eventually make enough money to get to this point? As the Gilmore Girls say, “If all else fails, you can marry rich.” There are a lot of gorgeous houses on Pinterest, and there are even some floor plans. It’s the perfect resource for design ideas. I can’t guarantee that you’ll stay within budget, though.

What’s your favorite way to use Pinterest? 

Blessings,

Olivia

7 Ways to Glorify God in Your Daily Life

“Ascribe to the Lord, you heavenly beings, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.” Psalm 29:1-2

A lot of our purpose as humans and as believers is to glorify God. This purpose often seems abstract to me, so it can be difficult to know how I can glorify God in my every day life. I thought of 7 ways to glorify God daily to help us apply this purpose.

1. Be thankful.

“I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart, And will glorify Your name forever.” Psalm 86:12

Showing gratitude for what God has already done in your life shows Him that you are content with how He has blessed you. It gives Him glory when you recognize how He has moved in your life. Telling others of His deeds in your life can bless them as well.

2. Sing worship songs.

“Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.” Psalm 96:1-3

The easiest way for me to get into a worshipful mindset is to sing praise music. Focusing on God through song is a way to surrender ourselves to His will. He desires our hearts and wants us to look at Him and not our earthly lives or problems. Worship songs often make me feel a lot of gratitude for God.

3. Stay connected to Him.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17

This means prioritizing quiet time with Jesus as well as keeping your focus on Him during your day. Pray continually throughout the day to remind yourself of His presence with you. Doing so will give you peace and perspective, and it shows God that you put Him first.

4. Serve others.

“…Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:26-28

Jesus came to earth to serve others and to bring us salvation. As His followers, we should do what He did and serve others. There are so many ways to do this, and it’s often little things. It can be as simple as giving your spouse a break by doing a chore that they usually do, or paying for a friend’s lunch. You can also serve others through community volunteer opportunities, mentoring someone at church, leading a small group, or simply being there for someone. Putting others first shows the love of Christ to them.

5. Share the Gospel.

“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20

This is the first thing I thought of as a way to glorify God. Our main purpose on earth is to further God’s kingdom by sharing the good news with people. How amazing is it that God allows us to be a part of His divine plan by telling others about Him!? Sharing the Gospel, especially when it’s uncomfortable, shows God that we value His will over our own.

6. Fulfill His purpose for your life.

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

Along with our main purpose of sharing the Gospel, God also has individual purposes for our lives. He made us unique with certain gifts and talents that we can use to glorify God in our own way. Don’t squander the gifts He has given you. If He made you a talented singer, use that gift to sing on the worship team or record videos of yourself singing and share them online. If He made you with the desire to encourage others, find opportunities to speak truth and kindness into people’s lives. God made you with a specific purpose that only you can fulfill. Doing so shows that you are grateful for your gifts and want to use them for His glory.

7. Pray for eyes to see these opportunities.

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe…” Ephesians 1:18-19

Sometimes, we’re too focused on our daily lives and problems that we miss opportunities to glorify God. We might not notice a good time to share the Gospel with someone, or we may feel too busy to have quiet time with Him. If we ask God to keep us alert to these opportunities, He will help us to see them. Your desire itself to serve God is a way to glorify Him.

I hope this post encourages you to look for chances in your daily life to glorify God. These opportunities are more abundant than they seem!

Blessings,

Olivia